regret..? guilty? sad?

Guys, i bet u guy dont really know what had i done in these few years, u can say that i hav change a lot, and yes, i agree. But, i will never know how that "lot" means. coz, it is really a big change, till i can say that i am a totally different person who you really dont know, and sometimes i know , u guys barely know me.

Within this few years, an extremely change is happened to me. internally of coz. I dont know, i ...hav an aim, a target, a goal that i want to achieve, desperately. To make it clear, that is the only factor that i MIGHT can control my own future. Or else, i think i will totally lost in this world.
I like Korean series/drama. a fan of it, lov it...madly ...like a SIAO KIA.....pretty match with it right? I watch the latest drama, trying to learn Korean.....but at this moment, i cant handle so much things, exam, mastering my eng..... lots of things i hav to do. To tell you a secret, everytime, after finished watching a drama (either KOREan, TAIWAN, HK, or even US) i will be like part of it, speaking their language....u might dont believe, but who cares u believe or not? I can speak a little bit Korean, not just onli anyonghaseyo, or kamsahamida or sarangheyo....but more than that for sure. NO DOUBT!
In the past, i was quite good in handle a relationship, what i mean is ....i can talk to anybody who got different interest, hobbies or whatever. For instance, i can talk or chat with my little bro who my elder sis rarely talk to him. If he watch Pokemon , i watch too. I like everything, i mean not a picky person....in evey kind of things. I can chat evything abt Pokemon, Digimon with him.. and i truly lov those cartoons. While my younger sis, she is a quite "internal" person, rarely talk to others or shud i say seldom..She sometimes, is quite shy indeed. However, i can talk to her too! Abt those school stuff...what happen in school...who she in lov with....everythings. While with my elder sis, i can talk abt the latest HK drama or hit songs. See? i can talk to all of my siblings!! But, now...no..NOT AT ALL! Ever since i fighted with my Bro m we dint chit chat again, unlike last time which he wil talk with me abt who he likes, or who likes him......no jokes from him nor me either, i refuse to be the 1st person to open my mouth to talk. I dont wan to. Coz till now, i don think that was my fault! BUt then ...i seems like hav lose a bro...a person to play joke with, a person to talk....and this is the same among my sis too. NoW, I am no one but a loner. no one is with me, and i hav learnt not to depend on others, any prob? solve it myself...is this really good? is this right? I hav no idea, and i dont hav a way to return. All i can do is keep going.....hoping that there may hav a better thing waiting ahead....